Sunday, March 10, 2019

On HO-ship in Medie's P.O.V.

There comes a time when the final year medies would need to decide where we want to do our housemanship (HO-ship). What's with the new proposals of wanting to extend the bonding from 3 years to 5 years, bull-shit is what I say.

No, it's not because we're not passionate about medicine. It's because of the bloody lousy healthcare system.

With more and more medical colleges around, more and more private college graduates flood the government hospitals for HO-ship training. As a consequences of extending HO-ship from one year to 2 years, you get 2 batches of HOs in the hospitals; the senior HO and the junior HO.

And now we were told that we still don't have enough doctors in the peripheries, because why? The HOs are all crowding in the main hospitals. But then again, what was the cause of crowding hospitals? The bloody 2 years HO-ship to cater the small bunch of incompetent doctors, wherever they're from...

I'm not saying private medical schools produces incompetent doctors. But I'm just saying, just because you get good results and you think you're eligible to do medicine doesn't mean that you could just pay your way off medical school for the title.

It pisses me off when one of the patients' husband told me his son is doing medicine in Cyberjaya, and he's got exams every week and life's so hard and everything, that it shouldn't be so difficult. What the bull man?! You want your son to do medicine you stop complaining, you got him into this.

So we've been getting grave reviews of HO-ship in the country. Part of the misery comes from the grand workloads with little time to spare for friends and family. But another part of the misery comes from the HO needing to work with the incompetent HO from wherever they're from, and subsequently needing to help them finish off their jobs.

Incompetent doctors are out there because, I think partly because it's so easy to do medicine nowadays. Last I heard, there was only one medical university, and a few international twining campuses with Ireland and India. Then Australia set up theirs. Then before you know it, the private university colleges set up their own medical faculty. Like, wtf??? We used to study so hard so that we could be accepted into the medical school, and to be accepted was like, God send. Now? 50k and you're studying Anatomy and Physiology in some medical faculty in some private colleges.

No eye see, really.

I rest my case.

Thursday, May 10, 2018

[StoryTeller Ver0.2 Vol.2] Best Man

O'Brien sat across the table, smiling. We've known each other for years, I can barely remember how long, but it must've been over a decade at least. It just started with a snap, and we started our seemingly not quite compatible relationship as friends that easily.

"So... I've got a news for you."

We began hanging out at bars for drinks into wee hours of the morning, talking crap and what nots. We began going out for short trips just because we wanted to shoot a perfect picture of the sun rising in the eastern horizon. And we basically see each other almost everyday, with different activities, majority comprising of dinner and gym.

"Uhuh. Shoot. I'm all ears."

We kept in touch via text messages, short calls and most of the times via live messengers online. As time passes by, we got on with our lives. With our work, our relationships, and our families respectively. But we stood by each other, helping one another should there be any predicaments. We share everything that happened, including the darkest secrets even our mothers did not know. We were basically soul mate, in that sense.

"Promise me you won't be shocked!"

"Bring it on. I don't think I couldn't be able to handle it after what has happened."

And one day, he came to tell me he had been dating my twin sister! It was a surprising news! For the workaholic in us, I'm amazed he could even made time to go out dating with another lady for it was like we were basically hanging out whenever we got free time. Which was, pretty rare, for he's a manager of some sort for the airline company, while I've been running around managing my internationally-recognized designs. And the part of dating my twin sister, even I myself didn't know!

"I'm thinking of proposing. But I want your blessings."

But even after he's been dating, he never treat me less. I was brought to meet his girl as a surprise, and was introduced to her as the boyfriend. God it was so funny that my twin sister looked at us almost with her eyes popped out. But after much explanation, the three of us hang out more and more. And it felt so good that I got closer to my sister as the days passed by.

"Bravo buddy! You've got my blessings!"

"Not unless you become my best man."

"Hahaha. That's the least I could help out buddy!"

"Alrighty! There'll be 4 more guys, of which 2 of them are gay couple. I'm sure you know Kenny and Bernard."

"I'm fine with them, they're really cool people."

"The other two will be Kee Hong and Shawn. Here's their number, you better make sure I get my surprise!"

"Bugger you horny lad!"

And he laughed.

To be continued..

Saturday, April 23, 2016

On Turning 29

11.35 PM I had a panic attack. I looked at my datelines and I freaked out. Too many things to do. Too little time. I can't manage this any longer. I think I'm gonna break down.

12.05 AM I'm fine. I will be alright. I'm a survivor. God please have mercy

Tuesday, March 29, 2016


Let the picture say it all.
Hint: Main content of the picture. Signal strength.

Monday, February 22, 2016

On being Humbled by Mental Torture

People say it is not ethical for medical practitioner to treat personal friend or family, mainly because judgements can be clouded and could pose imminent danger to the patient, who essentially is also someone beloved and held so dear.

I am at a cross road I don't know what I should do.

Someone I love dearly is suffering. Because an important man in his life is suffering. While I have the capability to do render proper help to whoever suffering from similar symptoms where I practice, I don't have the such privilege in where he lives. For two weeks, he texted me everyday and described to me how he saw his man suffer, and the frustration from the start, gradually turns into helplessness. Every time he turned to me and let me know in one short sentence 'My Papa is unstable today.'

Starting off with some degree of skepticism, it took me a few days to understand what his worries were based on. But with that understanding, I began to become more irritable and anxious. I was jumpy and I skipped a beat when his text was about his man. I had in turn became annoyed, partly at him, partly at his man and partly at everything else. I snapped at my loved ones physically around me, I lost my patience and I could not concentrate in my readings. For days in a row, the ringtone of his message turned my hands and legs cold and my heart rate doubled, and my chest aching. It wasn't only till a few nights before the impulsive trip, of which I made because I could no longer cope with it, that I found how terribly wrong and how sorry I should be to misunderstand him. To him, I was a form of consolation. I was where he thought he could seek solace and peace. Physically or not, I should have been able to provide what he hoped he could find in me. And I had failed myself in failing to understand where he was coming from and I hated myself for the first time.

When we finally met that afternoon, the silence in the car was deafening. His love was silent, and so was he. I had no means of breaking the ice, because I was already frozen to my core. Thankfully the ride was not long. But not thankful to any extend, was the moment when all of us stepped out of the car into the afternoon sun at the porch of his house. My heart sank. And I was so near to tears. Whatever had he done to deserve such punishment and suffering? He was entirely different, the negativity from his man, had sucked out the light and soul of him, and he was haggard, downcast and lethargic. If there was a choice then, now or whenever possible, I would have wished for me to have that sufferings he bear.

The short 2 days we were together, I told myself repeatedly I needed to be strong for him. As I watch him struggling to stand and walk, having been bogged down by the burden and pain of watching his man suffer, I had indirectly joined and boarded his train of heartache. Despite the ability in sharing what I know and making sure it was understood, the motivation and relief in having a glimpse of hope to the end of this gloom was too short-lived...

Entering the 3rd week now, I began to wonder if this is all but a nightmare. My helplessness was so great, I tear at the thought of this one person I love dearly.