Friday, October 17, 2008

On Clearing History

I came to realize why I have not been able to really let go.

See, when you really like someone, even the little simple messages of "Good night." means a lot to you.

But subsequently, over time, there would be a lot of "Good night"s that it seemed to you that the greeting before bed is getting dull. However, there are some other simple messages that would still make your heart skip a beat.

Therefore, over the days and months, your inbox on your phone gets more and more. But, back to the basic of what it all was, the simple messages that carry thoughts (or at least you think it was), were not deleted and were still stored in the phone.

As sissy as it sound, that was what I did. Keeping messages from someone outside my direct family whom I love. To the extend that when I clear my inbox, mum's "Good morning. How are you today? Hope you have a fruitful day today." received every morning were the first to go.

So yeah. I finally found out why I was still in struggle. Of wanting to let go and move on, yet I was still holding on to that impossible wish...

I did not clear the number. It's not like we're not on talking terms anymore. But rather, I don't think I'll still want to be that naive again.

For all it's worth, after clearing them, I feel like I have finally let go of that huge stone that have been pressing on my heart over the past few weeks.

Just so that you might want to know why I had not been doing this earlier...

That was why.

And well, what I see in this person: independant, focused, cheerful, financially stable (working), so naturally means yeah, I was erm, 'seeing' someone who is older than myself.


So... friends eh? Maybe we could go out for movies again sometimes...

12 Jujus:

Legolas said...

Aah... The lovey dovey sms.

passerby said...

Thank God my crush doesn't have a handphone.

But still I tend to save our MSN online conversations.

And I am the one always saying Good Night.
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Janvier said...

Always tough to erase 'em texts.

Calvin said...

Oooo....uncle hor? Hehehe...

pikey said...

oh well.... sweet words. Remember to protect yourself from building up yr own bubble....

i think my blog entry on easily falling in love and understanding each other basically sums up my opinion here...

KwangKwok said...

U make me really stunned.....for your courage and ....evrything....

Perky said...

I have that same problem too! Hehehe... Reading smses from loved ones puts a smile on my face, esp on days when I need 1 :)

Bengbeng said...

at least u r no longer feeling unwell. that's something to give thanks for :)

i loved yr sister from Klang n porridge post. was so refreshing

ckw said...

so much happened when i skipped ur blog for exams O.o

Ah-Bong said...

legolas, hateful lovey dovey sms...

passerby,0.o how can one doesnt have a handphone?!

janvier, yeaps. always is.

calvin, yea uncle calvin.

Ah-Bong said...

pikey, thanks for the opinion.

kwangkwok, one can never underestimate another person. :P

perky, yeah... and people are looking at you thinking you're crazy.

bengbeng, still coughing like mad... and yeah, sis's very caring. indeed.

ckw, it's been a long time alright. lotsa things happeend

aaronng88 said...

Urgh~ I hate deleting 'special' smses.. or in fact.. I hate chanigng SIM card and all the sms disappear -.-