On Pissed and Annoyed

Okay, here's another post on the community service the medical society is planning to over at Sarawak in 3 weeks time. Not like I'm not already annoyed by it already.

When they first announced the place they wanted to go, I've already had the frickle decision of quitting. I was terribly annoyed to be exact. Just beacuse the seniors done it in Sarawak before, they feel like it's a whole I'm-so-noble giving free community service to the villagers in this place called Bintangor, which they never heard off. And to have chosen a place they never heard off, they feel even holier than thou. My foot.

But I didn't quit back then. I stayed, and contributed in the carwash project. How absurd! My group, we didn't do any car-washing. Just one if I don't recall wrongly. It wasn't that bad no doubt, but totally beat. Lots of drama from the locals as we just go around houses asking for donations instead of offering our car-washing service. I thought that'll be just all.

Just before the holidays, rumors spread that we'd need to do our personal donations. A minimum of 150 bucks each. Now, that took me by surprise. I was pissed. Terribly annoyed and irritated. None of the people in the higher committee gave a talk about it. No one ever INFORMED us openly! And I only get to know about it through friend of friends who are closer to the chief of the whole project. Not that I don't know the chief, we're all in the same class anyways. But...

I wouldn't want to go into bashing how they're uncapable of doing their job, I'm giving them credits for taking up such a big-scaled project. But I'm pissed, that they didn't make it clear or something. And they let the leaders of each bureau to give us the donation cards.

I got mine alright. But I just threw it aside, and didn't even talked to my parents about it. What are the sponsorship bureau doing? Yes alright, fine, they defended that all the corporate sponsors felt it's not worth sponsoring a bunch of 100 over medical students air ticket to provide medical services for the rural people by the rivermouth of midland Sarawak. Oh yea right, we're so holy if we help them. Screw me, do they actually think people in Sarawak still live up on a tree? Now, whoever still think of that obviously have not been to Kuching or Sibu or Miri, hell we're as developed than Shah Alam, if not more, mind you. So what if we don't have that big a land developed into urban areas huh? Like Sarawak is just some really ancient jungles? Of course we are! We have elevator in our trees!

So today when the chief of the project went in front of the class asking everyone who are still participating to submit the personal donation with at least 150 bucks within this week, I nearly threw something at him. I was sitting towards the back of the hall, it might be a bit too far. But I was sure I could knock him down if I really threw my handphone at him. Or something that was within reach. If I really did lose my mind till that extend. Personal donations you call it. And at least a minimum of 150? Do you really think we're kindy kids? Donations and you set a minimum amount to it. Right.

It's bad enough when we actually went from house to house asking for money during the carwash weekend. It's fine if you don't have any feelings of shame after begging for money like that, but I do. I DO FEEL SHAME! Whatever dramas we got from the villagers around PJ back then, was so true that what we did was plain WRONG. THEY DON'T BUY ALL YOUR OBJECTIVES. Shame on us. Shame on us ALL. We're a government subsidised medical school, there are funds we could always apply to. There are always funds available somewhere. No point telling me here and now, I'm not in the higher committee anyway. I don't have the power to say anything.

Not even a say to tell them what Bintangor is really like. When the fact was, I WENT THERE BEFORE! My dad worked around that area for 5 years, and I of course have been there and stayed there every holidays to keep my dad company. And they actually asked people who lived in Kuching and never been to the midlands their entire life. Now I'm so very sure the guy they asked would say, of course, Bintangor is a very kampong place. People there are so stupid they eat shit, and they know nothing about proper sanitation. So yea, we should all go and tell them not to eat shit and cook their paddy.

Now, I'm not being fussy over that 150 bucks. I have spent 800 on shopping for clothes alone. Not that I'm rich or anything. Dad always made sure we have enough to spend. I'm being fussy over that 150 bucks because I don't feel like I'm informed well enough of the whole project. Fine, it's a charity. At the very least you could take the trouble to tell us straight to the face like a conference or something no? It'd just take a minute or two. Yet you prefer to make decisions in your small "higher committee" and ASSUMED everyone would be fine with it.

I object. I loudly object. This is plain ridiculous! There's no wonder why people doubt the leadership of local graduates, despite from a prime uni. Hah.

Shame on me really. If any of this bashings reached the higher committee, so be it. I don't have the guts to talk to you straight in your faces, I'm just some coward who complains behind your back. Whatever you want to think anyways. Now here's the reality, in real life, not everything goes according to whatever you want. You may have planned everything, you may have consulted the seniors, you may have discussed with the committee of whatever shits, but you still will not satisfy everyone. That's the naked truth.

I'm pissed I'm pissed I'm VERY pissed. Now who's willing to pull out 3 50RM notes for this fuckin' project? For my sake. Ignore the charities if you don't want to think of it as that, think of it as a charity for me. I know you love me. Otherwise you wouldn't read my ramblings till the last word anyways. My card is still empty. Money please???

Ps: Okay I'm sorry if this is way too offensive. I'm as much offended myself.