Monday, April 18, 2011

厌倦

妈妈从两个星期前,无时无刻都在担心这我这废材。不时不时就传个讯息问我在哪里。我毕竟,呆在家也不知道要做什么。可是,妈妈一听到我要驾车,都会忐忑不安。她到庙里,求了个下签,血光之灾难免,所以我如果不在家,她都会询问我的下落。

我很常,会在不开心的时候,没有目标的驾车。每次在联邦大道经过学院,心里都有一种厌倦的感觉,很恨不得永远离开。

怪我不好好珍惜,现在讲什么也没用。

4 年天天走的路,那时已经是很盼望不想再走了。但是,看来,我难免还需吞下这不爽的心态,忍着这痛苦,脸皮厚着又要去给博士们踩骂。

可是,其实也应该的吧,毕竟,我都不是什么好货。


Mum had been checking on me every now and then since two weeks ago. She was worried about my safety, because I hadn't been myself lately, more so when she knows that I would drive around aimlessly whenever I'm down; which was exactly what I had been doing. She was scared that I would be involved in some accident or something.

Nothing had happened so far. I'm still pretty much depressed, perhaps slightly more organized.

But every time I passed by the hospital as I drove down the Federal Highway, I had this urge to show my middle finger at it, though I never had done that. I had been wishing so badly, that I wouldn't be going back there again. 5 years in this institution, I really wished I could leave already.

But I had only myself to blame.

Perhaps I wasn't even cut out for this.

3 Jujus:

Robinn T said...

you are definitely cut out for it. Take on the last exam man. PS: I'm stepping into the field soon. So I'm expecting guidance and help okay!

Reanaclaire said...

Hope you will feel better soon! hey, i think i owe u something.. gosh!!

doc said...

wasn't able to follow your posts in mandarin, but since you're sticking your middle finger at the hospital, i gather things didn't go too well.

you don't know this but i stumbled in form 6 as well as 1st year in med school. so, i should be sticking the finger up TWICE!

but anyway, being a man..(ahem!)...i did what i had to do - face "the enemy" again & make sure don't make the same mistakes again.

you may have lost a battle, but the war is not over yet. fight on!