On My Foul Word

I wasn't brought up speaking any vulgar. Mum and Dad were pretty strict with us back then. We came to learn about all these vulgar when we were still in our primary school, for me at least. Back then, we stayed in a small town mainly populated by the natives. But I went to a Chinese medium primary school though. So yes, I know mandarin.

And yes, I know all those vulgars kids in the kampung cursed in mandrin. Back then, kids in the rural area don't really emphasize that much on studies. Especially when they're the ones coming from even further remote places where their parents are farmers and what nots. So going to school were merely an obligation, or perhaps to learn how to count so that they wouldn't be cheated off their money in the future. But that's about it.

So, yes, my ears gotten used to a lot of (pardon my language) Ci-bai and Lan-ciao. Just that... I never actually ever spoken it myself.

Back to even younger years, Mum taught us well. In the sense that, we would not speak of any vulgar or our mouth would smell. And I believed her, because there was this girl who was rumored to have foul-smelling mouth in my class. I never sat beside her, so I didn't knew, not until one day when she came to me and talked to me. Man, I tell you, when she opens her mouth, the smell was enough to deter me to withdrew myself instantly away from her. So when I told my mum about that, that's when all those theories of not cursing any vulgars came in. Despite how many brushings and what not, those smell would never leave your mouth.

(Although now that I think about it, she's got some really serious problem, either health or oral hygiene. She claimed that she did brushed her teeth, and they were white alright. So my suspicion now is probably she's got some congenital liver problem that led to liver failure, that's when one would get fetor, the foul smell from the mouth. I mean, well that's perhaps one of the gazillions causes why mouth could smell.)

So, her treat worked. We never had any vulgar words in our family. Especially when our parents were around. And if we did accidentally blurted it out, we were to slap our own mouth.

Until one day, when I mischieviously created my own phrase Ngai-tiao in response to some sight I saw, and my mum freaked out. And she turned so angry and asked me where I learnt that. I mean, I was so innocent back then, I didn't even know 'tiao' was one of the many vulgars too. So I slapped my cheeks lah. (From what I understand, 'tiao' means fuck in Hokkien?)

We lived for years without any vulgars until I was older in secondary school, when the word "Fuck" came to the knowledge of us siblings. Of course we didn't even dare to brought this up when our parents were around.

And there was once when I nearly ended my "Chiiiiiii" with "Baaaiiiiiii" then that I suddenly twisted my tongue to end it with "Keeeen". My mum were curious, and I told her frankly that, since I don't want it ended to be "White chicken" (literally translating Cibai, whereby "Chi" means chicken, and "Bai" means white, as how they wrote it in Mandarin), I used "chicken" to substitute it.

Days passed by with us getting used to our own foul word Chicken this Chicken that Chiiiicken loooong Ch'ken short. And I "Chicken"-ed anything that were not pleasant to me, and it just meant everything that consist of the vagina or the penis or bastard or a whore or an idiot. Basically, everything I want to.

As we grew even older, my brother who was more of a reader than myself, started to introduce more bombplastic words such as pea-brain, fiasco, nut-case and what nots. But of course, I still cursed "Chicken" all the time.

It wasn't till a few days ago when I was out with the soulmate that this old memories came back. "Chiiiickeeen!!! Bloody stupid driver!" And he looked at me. Oh... the old memories... I had no idea why it came back again after having about 2 years not even staying clean of my own vulgar.


Maybe because I have since then learnt to use Fuck a lot, and recently got so used to Cibai already.

And now that I suddenly remember, we used to tease around between us siblings, "Lu man tokik!" It's "you eat shit" in Bidayuh. That's alllll I know about the dialect of the natives in Borneo. What bad of me eh?!

Have a good weekend my beloved readers. Don't let the vulgar spoil your mood! :D