On Kiasi-ness

Seriously! I need to kiasi (scare-die). Screw on kiasu-ness. What matters now is kiasi-ness.

It was just yesterday when he suddenly brought up that I'm halfway through my surgery posting and well, sad to say, I'm barely even ready for anything. It was just a mere 4 weeks ago before the start of my surgery posting when I was confidently saying I'll use my surgery posting periods as the time to prepare for the finals.

But look at me now! I seriously scare die lor. Really!

I don't know how many times have I whine and grumble of how scared I am about the finals where it's like, the final battle of this year, that I'm sure he's as bored about it as I am.

Oh gosh... oh gosh oh gosh!!!

How am I able to finish reading all the major postings? Paeds was a mess. Obs and Gyne was barely passable. Internal medicine still needs loads of strengthening. And surgery is like... totally new! And I merely have 4 weeks to prepare for it! Screw that confident boasting of mine, I am damn nervous and anxious now. God knows when the depression and axiety attack is gonna kick in..

ARGH!

Kiasi. Must kiasi... MUST MUST KIASI!!!!

Honestly... I am death-fearing.

ps: "Kiasi" is the Hokkien for death-fearing, used normally in sarcastically aiming at timid people who dare not do anything.