Saturday, December 27, 2008

On Being Tested HIV+

Was in the middle of the movie when one of my buddies Dan called. I was amazed that he'd call. We are buddies alright, but we seldom chat over the phone. Most of the time it'd just be text messages... I didn't pick up his call, and I only sent him a text message after the vibration stopped. Perhaps he just needed someone to talk to so that he won't be having a cold feet or anything. After all he's getting married someday soon...

And that was when I got the shock of my December.

I lost my concentration. Australia is a good movie, but having a buddy whose blood test came back positive, anything and everything will turn really really bad. I didn't expect this. I didn't know what to do. I have not prepared anything for this kind of situation. And I don't even know how to cope with it. If anything, I feel like my life is gone.

I sat in the seat for a while, before I ran out of the cinema and gave Dan a call.

"Man... I... I really don't know what to say... Is the result confirmed? Are you advised to go to the hospital or anything?"

He hasn't confirmed the test result in a hospital. And he tried contact tracing, but none of his contacts were tested positive. Or at least that was what they said about the last test that they did a month ago. He asked about the accuracy of the test. He asked about what he should do. How long can he live. What will it be like if he is really positive...

And honestly... I really am not equipped for this!

My phone ran out of battery after 15 minutes talking to him outside the cinema hall, and by the time my phone died, I went back inside the hall to find everyone exited the hall. Including the siblings. So yeah, I don't give a damn what happened to Lady Sarah Ashley or the drover or Nullah, but being a romance movie that it is, I'm sure it ended well.

I got home and tried to call him again, but he was already asleep.

The next day, he sent me two more text messages.

And I called to find out how's he doing... Honestly, I really don't know what to do! The least I can do is to stand by his side, and support him morally. At such a young age... Gosh...

I asked him the last question I don't know whether or not I should be. My instint told me not to. But my ethics told me it's the right thing to do.

"Have you told your wife about it?"

"No... The wedding luncheon's this Sunday..."

I just hope the test result was a mistake...

13 Jujus:

ckw said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ckw said...

well he should be telling his wife, the very least.

she had rights to know, imagine repercussions if his wife someday found out she's +ve for HIV.. the trust involved.

i wouldn't forgive a friend if my friend is +ve and he didn't tell his/her partner about it. i don't think it's right to spread viruses around, although the results might be false. better be safe than sorry.

imagine if have a HIV+ partner and u didnt know abt it till the day the symptoms came out, how would u take it?

well the very least ur fren can do at the moment is to use barrier methods until the tests are confirmed.

Calvin said...

I agree with ckw. The wife has the rights to know. Your friend can do the test somewhere else or more to make sure. Don't just trust one person. If he really has it, ask him to consult professionals on how he should lead his lifestyle from now on, how to take precaution, how to not spread to others, etc.pa

foongpc said...

OMG! So sorry to hear about your friend. He should go for a 2nd test to confirm the results, and he must tell his wife - she has the right to know and she must go for the test too.

AJ said...

all i can offer is my condonlences to ur fren...

huuuh*long sigh

having few close frens contracted with STDs scared the hell out of me

but reading this entry gave me chills...and in silence, i'm thankful that i'm not sexually active...maybe the fear of this sorta things really haunts me

Silly Little Prince said...

gosh.

he should contact MAC to get more details and yes the med does cost a lot. apparently about rm3k per month.
mmm or was that the anti virus thing... get him to check with the docs, tell that he thinks he is exposed, if he is still in the window period he can probably take a type of med.

Peng Loon said...

or maybe his wife passed it to him... i bet he didn't contact trace his wife.. isn't that the only possibility if he has already done contact tracing for all the others?

Nicholas Rashidee said...

i feel so sorry for ur friend. medical expenses will not be the number one problem he has to face, but the perception from the community towards people who has hiv+. if he tells his wife, he will face the possibility of getting a divorce (and being humiliated by the wife's family). i think it's only okay to tell his wife if he trusts her and tell her not to tell anyone else. i hope he will recover soon.

Medie007 said...

hey guys,
thanks for the wishes and concern. i'm sorry to hear about that to. hopefully it'll just be a false positive.

have asked him to tell his wife about it. but they're already getting married. he doesn't know what exactly to do himself. to carry on with the wedding or not. but to have all things set out, he just get on with the wedding...

anyways, i wish it's just a nightmare...

pikey said...

sorry to hear about your friend, and hope the test was just a mistake.... and even it's +ve, i hope he gets to inform his wife...

Bengbeng said...

i dont know. perhaps they should call off the marriage. it is the best under the present circumstances until the situation is straightened out

Frisscal said...

well medicine is expensive.. but go for government hospital.. the service is quite good (not as bad as last time) and its totally much more cheaper than private..

Anyway well I agreed with everyone..He should tell the other half about this.

well ask him to take good care of himself. At least wt help of drugs U still can lead up to 30 years more :)

Ivan said...

I just feel sorry for him and seriously I couldn't imagine being in his situation.Wish that he'll do fine with his life now.....