I saw two deaths today.
The first patient who died earlier, I only saw his body nicely wrapped up in white cloth when the officers from the morgue came up to carry his body away.
10 minutes after that, my colleague pulled me over to the next cubicle. Anesthesiologist and surgeons alike were resuscitating another old man. News was that, the surgeons just turned around to get his case notes, and turned back to his eyes rolled up.
"Not good," That was his last words when the surgeon asked him how he was. And there's no more words from him. Ever.
He was intubated to maintain the airway. Atropine was given. Then adrenaline. Then noradrenaline. And in the end, the house officers took turn giving the old man external cardiac compressions. 15 minutes later, they called it. "Time of death, 1630, 12th January 2011."
His sons and daughter-in-laws came in later, only to get their father discharged with a death certificate. Hand trembling, they signed the discharge form, and was instructed to clear the administration fee in the admission department. Their eyes were red and swollen. It was only late evening yesterday that I saw my colleague laughing with them. 24 hours later, there was only mourn and sorrow.
I tried not to be emotionally affected. They weren't the patients assigned to me anyways. But seeing how he was resuscitated on his death brink, and to no avail, his pupils remained dilated, I just felt sore, somewhat.
I could only offer my deepest condolences for the family of the deceased.
Rest in peace, Mr. Chuah.
3 Jujus:
yea... that's one of the reason i hesitated to take up medicine to practice as a doctor. Imagine 20 deaths in a day, all in your hands. You'd probably commit suicide right after
Perhaps you should get more training by joining Hospice. They all might even share parting words.
some of the newer med schs may offer a holistic approach to medicine where students have sessions on psychological issues like death, but by & large, the learning is in the wards/ICU/A&E.
you will gain much experience when you start working but it is OK to feel sorry/compassion or even try to alienate yourself from the emotional aspect of death. just ensure you had given the best care possible.
one emotion you don't want to feel is regret.
Post a Comment