On Speaking Natives

See, the ching chong CINA got so many native dialect hor, that I also dunno how to deal with. I am a Hakka ma, like very very hakka type tim. I speak Hakka at home one, with my relatives even. I don't even feel like speaking mandarin to any of my family members, just kinda feel... salah lor. So hor, yea lor, I've grown up speaking Hakka one, in terms of dialect la.

But then hor, it just seems as if Hakka isn't that popular a dialect in KL or Klang. People use Cantonese or Hokkien mostly. So sometimes got some grandpa or grandma who were admitted into the hospital, cannot speak in English or Malay or Mandarin one, only know how to speak in their own native dialect. It's as impossible as speaking to an Indian in Tamil lor. Serious!

"Uncle, lu... lu... ha mi su lai?"

"HAAA???"

"Uncle, lu... why come hospital?"

"HAAA? Be hiao tia lar. Kong Hokkien nia."

"Haar... uncle... wa bei hiao kong hokkien wa... Sorry har uncle, wa kiu wa friend lai hor..."

Maybe you'd say it's okay that I don't know Hokkien lor. But hor... Kuching people speaks Hokkien one lor... So cham I barely know how to speak any except for "I don't know how to speak Hokkien".

And then hor, I remembered the last internal medicine end of posting exam that I had... I tried to speak Mandarin with this old grandma, asking for permission to examine as well as for self-introduction. Mana tau lei, my doctor stopped me.

"Only Cantonese or Hokkien."

APALA!!! Grandma already jiang hua yu with me, even say "hao" already, but this doctor stopped me pulak. Not like he doesn't know Mandarin lor. He purposely wanna test my dialect ony. I'm Hakka ba. You give me a Hakka patient lar, ngai kong khak boi lor. Mo eh fa, ngai mm hiao kong ba (I will speak Hakka lor. Otherwise, I don't know how to speak.).

"But doctor, I don't know how to speak."

"Cantonese or Hokkien."

"Yea, none."

"Not even Cantonese?"

"No... I can't."

"Okay, Mandarin then."

Ngo mm zi dim gong kong tong wa gei. Kong yat di yat di ho yi la. Dan hai ngo mm zi dim yong man man tai. ( I don't know how to speak Cantonese. Can speak a little bit only. But even then, I can't do my clerking in Cantonese.)

Si lo, eh hiao tam pok tam pok nia. Be tang kong.... Sia sui nia. ( It's true! I can only speak a bit only. Can't talk. Embarrassing myself only.)

So hor... I think it's still best to speak in English. I always enjoy clerking patients in English...