On the Inevitable

Death.

Is inevitable.

You don't know when it's coming. But you know it is coming. Sooner or later. But not everyone is ready for the Death God. And even if someone is all ready and prepared waiting for his or her life to end, his or her loved ones might not think so.

When it happens to someone you don't know, like someone totally stranger to you, you don't feel anything. Stranger. As in total stranger. Like, when you saw all those arbituary on the news paper, all the names so foreign to you, I don't suppose you'll feel anything.

However, from the past experience, when you're NEAR death, literally, in a same room for instance, you will somehow feel the sorrow. Especially when the deceased's loved ones wailed and screamed and shouted and cried like there's no tomorrow. No matter how hard your heart is made of, there'd always be this tingling sensation. This little feelings that made you feel sympathy and sorry for the loss.

But that's only when you're near a trigger for the sorrow. As in those wailing and crying.

So when Sis sent me a text message saying an ex-classmate of mine who lost her mum recently, I don't know what to say. Shocked, yes. Sympathy, definitely. Sad, none.

I'm not close to her really. We used to be in the same class, back in form one. And form two and form three. But we were seperated after that. And even when we were in the same class, we were not in the same clique. We seldom chatted. We seldom talked. We seldom hang out together. We basically just know the existence of each other.

But her dad used to be my dad's classmate as well. Or schoolmate, I think. And they went to the same university. And they're acquainted that way. That they still meet up with each other whenever there's school-leavers' reunion.

There, that's our relationship.

Nothing special. We're acquaintance in one way or another.

I have no idea where on the world she is. I thought she was in Moscow or Volgograd, some medical school there. But I also felt that she might be elsewhere, since I heard that she did some twinning programme to New Zealand or Australia. So naturally, of course I have no contact of hers. Neither do I have numbers of friends who are close to her. Or I think all my phonebooks are pretty outdated in some way or another.

So I looked up for her in facebook and sent her a message.

It's hard to write a condolence letter really. But when I suppose when one gets it, in one way or another, there's the feeling of gratitude. And relieve. At least that was what I felt when one of my brothers YL and my group-members sent me an SMS back when my grandma left the world. Not to forget all those wishes that were given personally when I came back to school...

So, I hope the simple message does carry the what I really feel.

My deepest wishes for you my friend.

Ps: By the way, it was lung cancer.