Bitch Bites

Disclaimer: This post is meant for entertaining purposes, part of the post might be offensive, so you might think twice before you continue.

I'm a selfish bitch. There's nothing else that you can say to change that. I like being a selfish whore, and I'm darn proud I'm selfish. Sis got me a pack of pistachio nuts so that I can chew on while I study, I opened it and removed the shells, save the job of washing my hands when I need to hold a pen or flip the pages later on. So, roomate KW came back on the last day of holidays.

KW: Bitch! I'm back!!!

Me: Oh look, skinny bitch decided to come back after all!

KW: Aiyoyo... my homecoming gift?

Me: You wish... it's mine... MINE!!!

Unfortunately, I failed to save that one nut he stole in a milisecond, and I choked him into the bathroom. Why would I not? I'm a selfish whore, and I took my time taking off those shells and I mind seriously if he takes it without me giving him willingly. But then again, it's not like it's ever going to happen, I'm proud of myself being selfish, I do, I really do. So I'm never going to give anyone my pistachio NUTS....

KW: Spare me, please... the toilet's dirty...

Me: Oh yea? You shall pay for what you did. Now lick those sperm stains clean!

And he did. Thief roomate had to clean the stinky bathroom I purposely left unwashed for the past one week. And the toilet is now sparkling clean. This is the story of a selfish bitch growing into the bossy king... A while later, KW came out of the sparkling clean bathroom with aching back, looking at my pistachio nuts container like those hungry little dog by the street you can barely resist kissing him.

Me: Owh.... too bad.... It's all stolen by the bossy king...

KW: F**k you, bitch!

MWAHAHAHA.... No one beats selfish bitch.. NO one! MWAHAHAHAHA